Lost

Have you ever felt like you were truly happy in your life but yet felt so utterly lost? Made decisions only to find yourself so riddled with guilt over those decisions that it nearly wrips you in half?

I almost feel as if I have reached a crossroads in my life. A large part of me is very content with being single and on my own. I enjoy my independance, my ability to do things that I want to do without that other person in my life. Talk to others, meet new people, experience new things. And yet there is another side of me that feels so completely lonely at times that it hurts, huts bad. I hate times like these. Today has been one of those days. I don't know if it's the holiday or if it's recent decisions I've made in my life that are just catching up with me.

I find myself filled with questions, lots of questions. Do I want to go back to school? What would I do for a living? Outside of work, the gym and going to the bar, what can I do with myself? How can I make new friends?

Then I go to the other questions, the ones that haunt me on days like today, when I'm feeling sad. Why aren't decent men attracted to me? Why is it that people don't date anymore, they just "hook" up? Why can't men understand that just being honest is so much easier to deal with then if you lie? Just say it like it is, it may hurt but at least there is nothing to question, there's no room for confusion, noone's left feeling like a jerk.

I'm happy and content with my life, I really am. I just want something more fullfilling, something that helps me feel like I'm accomplishing something with my life.

Any suggestions?

Another new family member

Ok, so I know I'm crazy and now it's more apparent than ever. My daughter came home with Billy Friday night and he's here to stay.

And this is Bella, she's just letting Billy know that the bed will be hers before he can lay in it.

A mighty fine reminder

A friend sent this to me via Facebook today and I needed to post it.

You are single, make the best of it.
It DOESN'T mean you're not good enough,
It means noone is good enough for you.

I needed that one today. Funny how sometimes little "self-worth" reminders just seem to fall in your lap.

Have a wonderful weekend. I will be posting pics from our trip to Florida soon.