Guilt. Probably one of the most difficult things to live with and it's really consuming right now. I returned home from Jamaica last night and had a wonderful time. I have some beautiful memories that I will carry with me forever. But something happened Friday night that I am ashamed of. I don't know why I allowed it, but I did and more details flowed to me last night that nearly tore me in two. I had already felt sick over the whole thing as it was, the new information just made it worse.
How do you let it go? How do you release that guilt from within yourself and know that you're still a good person? It's one of those major F*CK ups that you hold inside and would never share with anyone because of the shame that's attached to it.
So, fellow bloggers, have you ever done anything that you were so ashamed of that you won't ever tell anyone about? How did/do you deal with it? How do you truely resolve that within yourself and let it go?
I will post pics tomorrow. It really was a wonderful experience and I look forward to visiting again very soon.
Countdown............
8 years ago
7 comments:
I have done things that have mortified me and left me with guilt. Not illegal things per se, but things that went against the moral code I try to live by.
I just put them out of my mind and make a fresh start and try to live up to who I want to be.
You are not defined by the indiscretions of your life.
I'm no expert.But from my past experiences..letting go of shame takes time and patienc..self love and more god damned patience with yourself.We make mistakes.As long we learn from them..we have less to be ashamed of I think.
I think it's better to talk to someone then to hold onto it yourself. Even if it's one person at least it's someone. Everyone makes mistakes and the only thing that you can do is try to work through it.
One thing. I treated a girl (a friend at the time) really badly. So badly, it makes me sick to even think about it. It never goes away and it never becomes OK. But the further it gets into the past (five years now), the less it surprises me in my every day thoughts. I've come to grips with the fact that I will never fix it and I will never make up for it. It just is and I'll never do something like it again.
Um hello, what the hell girl? You need to figure out that you can talk to me - or - or - or NO MORE SHOE SHOPPING!
Maybe it would help to imagine what you would say & how you would feel if a close friend of yours had done the same thing & told you about it.
I think sometimes we hold onto shame out of the feeling that if we don't, we're making too light of something we did wrong, or getting off too easy. But sorting through guilt, knowing what you regret doing, what'd you do differently--you're already doing that & you're going to carry the reminder with you...you don't need to carry the shame too.
Shame has a way of making us feel so badly about ourselves, it keeps you closer to the event & further from the life of value you've built.
Im a lil late here I really like reading all everyone has said I have a few things that fall in this category. I really think shame makes guilt worse. accepting whatever it was,forgiving yourself for it and thinking of it as you would if a friend had come to you and shared about it. I know i am my own worst enemy but realizing i need to treat myself as gracefully as i would my friend helps alot I'm glad you had a fantastic time in jamaica nettie!!!
Post a Comment